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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25392991">Smile Brightly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elemir/pseuds/pseudomir'>pseudomir (Elemir)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, this is basically just felix falling in love with changbin over and over</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:40:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25392991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elemir/pseuds/pseudomir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix starts his first year at college and finds out that he's been paired with Seo Changbin as his mentor. Which would've been great, if only Felix didn't have a crush on him the size of Jupiter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Felix/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Summer Boy</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Smile Brightly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the Summer Boy Fic Fest, happy birthday Binnie.</p><p>Prompt: Day 6 (campfire)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Felix gets his sophomore mentor, he realizes that his life as he knows it is over.</p><p>“Oh my god,” he says, dropping his head onto the desk in front of him. Next to him Seungmin, the only person he managed to befriend at orientation, leans over, trying to peer at his sheet which he hastily hides under his arms.</p><p>“What, did you get someone mean?” he asks curiously, turning her attention to her own sheet. “I got Lee Minho, oh my gosh. He could eat me for breakfast.”</p><p>“While that’s true,” Felix says, keeping his head down evenwhen Seungmin whacks him for his comment, “I didn’t get someone mean. I got Seo Changbin.”</p><p>Mentors are a stupid concept, Felix thinks. There’s no guarantee that their mentor will be from their same major, which is true in Felix’s case, considering that Felix is enrolled in dance and Changbin definitely isn’t. It’s just their school’s misguided attempt at trying to bring their students closer together, foster companionship or some other nonsense. Whatever the reason, Felix is cursing it, because he’s just been saddled with his worst nightmare.</p><p>“<em>Changbin</em>?” Seungmin practically bursts, forcing Felix to spring upright and slap a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t alert the entire lecture hall. He peers at him with apologetic eyes, and he finally releases him.</p><p>“You got Changbin? Seo Changbin?” Seungmin asks again, whispering. Felix stares at the name printed neatly on his sheet and nods. There’s no way he’s cut out for this.</p><p>In the performing arts department, Seo Changbin is practically a legend. Felix only started his freshman year two weeks ago and yet he’s well aware of this fact. Changbin’s only a sophomore in the production major, so realistically there’s probably not a ton he can offer Felix as a dance major, but also there’s not another sophomore in the school more talented, more versatile, or more well-built than Seo Changbin. Or at least that’s what Felix thinks.</p><p>The thing is, Changbin would probably be a great mentor, if only Felix didn’t have a giant, enormous, absolutely soul-sucking crush on him.</p><p>Felix has known Changbin peripherally for years now, although he wouldn’t say that they’re friends. They’d gone to the same high school, and even back then Felix had been enamored by Changbin, by the way he’d always wear big, black sweatshirts and make friends with nearly everyone in his class, even advertising the fact that he’d made a few hip hop songs and released them on SoundCloud. He’d just been cute, and kind, and not to mention hot, and Felix had secretly harbored a crush on him for years. They’d never really become friends though, which had suited Felix just fine since he hadn’t been able to say a single sentence to him without stammering or blushing, but Felix wants to sink into the ground at the thought of essentially being forced to work with him now</p><p>“Hey, that’s awesome,” Seungmin says, flicking his forehead. “There’s no way you’re gonna fail with him as your mentor.”</p><p>“I’m not really worried about failing,” Felix says faintly, deciding to keep quiet about his big honking crush. The less ammunition Seungmin has against him the better. “I’m just worried he won’t like me,” he adds, feeling lame. Seungmin pats his shoulder and reassures him that he’ll be fine, but Seungmin hasn’t met Changbin yet. He doesn’t know how intimidatingly perfect he is.</p><p>It’s been a whole year since Felix has seen Changbin last, he tells himself comfortingly. Maybe his crush faded away. Changbin probably won’t even remember him.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix flops down onto the couch as soon as he gets home, which isn’t necessarily out of character for him but still makes Chan raise an eyebrow at him anyway.</p><p>Unlike Jisung, his best friend who’s currently stuck living in the freshman dorms, Felix had begged his parents to let him live with his cousin Chan, who’s a senior at the same university this year.</p><p>It helps that Chan is both a couple years older than him and the darling of the whole family, because Felix’s parents had relented surprisingly easily. Chan just has that sort of effect on people; he’s trustworthy and kind and responsible. Like a dad, except he’s only twenty-something.</p><p>Of course, Felix has to pay his cousin his portion of the rent, and Chan makes him do half of the chores. Felix gets stuck with the laundry and taking out the trash, and Chan cleans the bathroom and does the vacuuming. Felix does the cooking for their own mutual safety.</p><p>“Something on your mind?” Chan asks, sitting gingerly on the arm of the couch Felix’s occupying. Felix looks up and sees that the older looks kind of tired, and immediately feels bad for taking up the entire sofa. He scoots over and motions Chan to sit.</p><p>Chan’s busy working on his senior thesis project most days, so he ends up staying late at the little production studio he rents out, which is not only super cool but also gives Felix a way to get custom dance tracks made whenever he wants. The downside is that Chan usually gets home late at night, half-delirious with exhaustion and dead on his feet.</p><p>“College is tough,” Felix whines, feeling like a baby. The feeling only worsens when Chan laughs at him and ruffles his hair.</p><p>“It can’t be that bad,” Chan consoles him, even though Chan’s a music production major and has never taken a dance class in his life. Felix doesn’t bother trying to explain and instead focuses on enjoying the feeling of Chan petting his hair.</p><p>“I have so much to learn and it’s only the first week,” Felix mopes, thinking about the stack of reading he’s got in his backpack. He doesn’t know why he needs to <em>read</em> when he’s allegedly here to dance, but he’s learned to not complain if he doesn’t want to pick up an extra assignment as punishment. “And I have to meet my mentor tomorrow and he’s really intimidating.”</p><p>“I remember when I was a mentor,” Chan says fondly, and then perks up. “How do you know he’s intimidating? Do you know him already?”</p><p>“Um, not really, but I’ve heard of him,” Felix explains, deciding to keep quiet for now. He knows that Chan must know Changbin, considering that they’re in the same major and it’s not that large. “He’s probably going to be disappointed by my very existence.”</p><p>“Felix,” Chan scolds lightly, “He won’t. All the students who sign up to be mentors are really nice, I promise.”</p><p>Felix lifts his head to squint at him. “Is that your weird way of complimenting yourself?”</p><p>Chan laughs, loud and hearty, and Felix feels a bit better even though he’s technically lying to him. Maybe Chan’s right, and Changbin really will be a good mentor. Maybe they could even be something close to friends. And maybe Felix will be able to speak to him in full sentences this time, although he’s not too sure about that one.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix spends thirty minutes obsessing over his outfit the day he’s supposed to meet Changbin for the first time.</p><p>It’s fairly out of character for him, especially considering he has a pretty limited wardrobe to work with. In the end he just goes with his normal shirt-and-jeans combo, but he picks his nicest leather jacket to throw over it and even steals a nicer pair of Chan’s sneakers to wear.</p><p>In the end, it doesn’t even matter what he’s wearing because Changbin runs into the classroom they’re supposed to be meeting in ten minutes late and wearing a <em>toga</em>.</p><p>“Sorry I’m late!” the sophomore gasps out, leaning over to clutch at his knees. “Acting classes are mandatory this year, but the only one I could fit into my schedule was Classics.”</p><p>Felix catches a glimpse of Changbin’s toned thighs under the hem of the white toga and feels all the moisture leave his mouth.</p><p>“Lee Felix, right?” Changbin asks, straightening out and extending an arm out to Felix. He’s so <em>long</em> that he doesn’t even need to step closer to do it, and Felix merely nods as he reaches out to take the hand offered to him.</p><p>“I’m Seo Changbin,” Changbin says, as if it’s possible for Felix to not know him already.</p><p>“I know,” Felix says, and then immediately feels like an idiot. He pulls his hand back quickly and awkwardly tucks it behind his back. Luckily for him, Changbin must find that kind of endearing, maybe like a baby deer learning to stand or something, because he only smiles wider at him.</p><p>“We went to high school together, didn’t we?” Changbin asks, perching on top of the teacher’s podium. “I was pretty excited to get you as my mentee. I remember you were like, a prodigy in the dance club.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Felix says, feeling tongue-tied, “not a prodigy, at all. I’m like, nothing.”</p><p>Something about Changbin’s face, all attractive lines and sharp eyes, softens a bit at that.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Changbin says, thoughtful. “I remember watching the dance club during the school talent shows, and I always thought you were really impressive. That was way back then, too, so I’m sure you’re even better now.”</p><p>Felix hopes he’s not blushing too hard, but he’s pretty sure he can feel the heat in his face spreading all the way to his ears. Something about Changbin remembering him – remembering and <em>complimenting </em>him to boot – makes him feel all warm inside, like all his organs have suddenly turned to goo and are sloshing around pleasantly inside of him.</p><p>“Thanks,” Felix murmurs, doing his best to look Changbin in the eye. It’s kind of hard. Changbin just seems so bright, so handsome and friendly and so, so out of Felix’s league.</p><p>“Ah, you’re so cute,” Changbin says, reaching out and tweaking Felix’s earlobe. “Now, are there any questions about your assignments you had? What are you working on in class right now?”</p><p>-</p><p>Felix’s not surprised when he accidentally falls asleep in the practice room.</p><p>He’d been working late that week, caught up with dance classes that had been much more difficult than the ones he’d taken back in high school, forcing him to stay late on campus and practice until he sweat off all his imperfections. Somehow at the same time he’d neglected to practice enough for his midterm, so he’d resigned himself to a long night at school working on his essay, curled up against the mirrored walls of his favorite practice spot.</p><p>He’d just been so tired that he’d settled down in what looked to be the comfiest corner. A quick nap, he’d promised himself.</p><p>He wakes up because someone’s touching his face. It’s kind of weird, but not unpleasant, so he keeps sleeping while the tapping against his cheek continues.</p><p>“Felix,” a low, vaguely familiar voice says. Felix opens his eyes only to find Changbin’s face just inches away from his own.</p><p>Felix jerks backward, nearly bashing his head against the mirrors in the process.</p><p>“Whoa, hey,” Changbin says, reaching out to steady him by his arms. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you like that. It’s late, what are you still doing here?”</p><p>Felix looks at his watch and mentally curses when he realizes he must have been sleeping for the better part of two hours. He’s not even sure if his bus is still running.</p><p>“I was writing my midterm essay,” Felix explains, looking up into Changbin’s stupidly earnest face. “Guess I fell asleep.”</p><p>“You do look tired,” Changbin says. Normally when people say that it’s kind of like an underhanded insult, but Changbin doesn’t sound like he’s trying to be insulting at all. His face is full of honest concern, and Felix can’t help but feel a little shy at the attention.</p><p>“It’s been a long week,” Felix says simply, not really wanting to go into details. He highly doubts Changbin would want to hear it anyway.</p><p>“Tell me about it,” Changbin says, smiling at him. “Anyway, do you need a ride home? I was just leaving too.”</p><p>Felix considers saying no to be polite, but he’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t take this ride, then he’s going to either be stuck walking home or just having to stay in the practice room all night, and neither option sounds appealing to him</p><p>“That would be great, thanks,” Felix murmurs appreciatively, scrambling to gather his belongings so they can leave.</p><p>Changbin drives a nondescript sedan, and it’s almost funny to see how much he has to scoot his seat forward to reach the pedals. He’s a good couple centimeters shorter than Felix, which is just another item added to the growing list of things the finds helplessly endearing about Changbin.</p><p>“Don’t stay up this late every day, okay?” Changbin tells him once they’re idling in front of Felix’s apartment building.</p><p>“Okay, hyung,” Felix agrees readily, even though secretly he knows that he’s going to have to pull at least one other all-nighter this week in order to finish all his assignments in time. Changbin gives him a stern look though, as if he can read Felix’s mind, and something about it makes Felix flush unwillingly. He really, really hopes Changbin isn’t a mind reader, because all Felix can think about is how nice his skin looks even under the ugly orange glow of the streetlights.</p><p>“Sleep well tonight,” Changbin tells him, and the words make Felix feel like he’s floating all the way up the three flights of stairs to his apartment.</p><p>-</p><p>Changbin, for as aloof and cool as he can appear at times, is almost unbearably clingy, Felix learns fairly early on.</p><p>He’s at the library studying with Jisung when Changbin pops up out of seemingly nowhere. Studying is probably a loose definition for it, since he hasn’t really gotten anything done in the past hour that they’ve been there, too busy checking out new SoundClouds that Jisung’s saved for him.</p><p>“Felix!” Changbin whisper-shouts, loud enough that Jisung startles but not loud enough to alert too many of the tables around them.</p><p>“Oh, hi,” Felix says, flustered. Changbin’s wearing a crisp, pressed blue shirt, a hint of his built chest peeking over the buttons. His hair looks unstyled but it still somehow manages to fall perfectly over his eyebrows – which look good even though they’re not filled in. it’s unfair, really.</p><p>Felix feels his throat go dry. Changbin just walks around looking like a magazine model all day, and meanwhile Felix’s wearing his oldest, rattiest sweatshirt and hasn’t bothered wearing BB cream for the third day in a row. At least he re-dyed his hair last week, so Changbin doesn’t have to suffer through his atrocious roots.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Changbin says, leaning down to wrap his arms over Felix’s shoulders. Felix can feel Jisung beside him give him a look.</p><p>“Just, um, studying,” Felix says, watching as Changbin’s gaze focuses on his computer screen, which is still playing some mystical rap song Jisung had recommended.</p><p>“Right,” Changbin says, a hint of a smile in his voice. “Who’s this? I’m Changbin, by the way.”</p><p>“This is Jisung,” Felix says, at the exact time Jisung says, “I’m Jisung.”</p><p>To make things worse, Jisung smiles a bit. “You’re Felix’s mentor, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Changbin says, sounding oddly pleased about the fact that apparently Felix has been talking about him. “Felix, I’m upset. You never talk about your friends around me.” Felix turns a bit to see Changbin pouting outrageously at him. It’s too much for his brain to handle; he’s pretty sure he short-circuits for a moment.</p><p>“Because we’re usually busy,” Felix points out, which is true. Other than that one time Changbin had driven him home at night (and another time Changbin had bought him lunch after running into him at the cafe, and a couple times Changbin had dropped by his last class to check up on him) they usually spend their mentoring session focused on Felix’s classwork.</p><p>“I’m literally your best friend though,” Jisung points out, a fake-hurt look on his face.</p><p>“Felix, your <em>best friend</em>,” Changbin says, aghast.</p><p>Felix groans. Of course they’d team up against him.</p><p>“Jisung and I grew up together,” Felix explains. “He goes here for the music program. He’s actually in a production program too.”</p><p>“Oh, I wonder why I haven’t seen you around before,” Changbin says, perking up. Felix knows why Changbin’s never seen Jisung before, and it’s because Jisung’s possibly the biggest homebody Felix has ever met. He’s pretty sure Jisung’s skipped nearly every class since school started, and yet he’s passing all of them with flying colors. It’s kind of infuriating.</p><p>“If you ever need any pointers about the freshman courses, just let me know,” Changbin adds, reaching out to ruffle Jisung’s ever-growing hair, which immediately sticks out in every direction.</p><p>“Anyway,” Changbin says, glancing at the time on the corner of Felix’s laptop screen. “I’m going to be late for class. It was nice meeting you, Jisung.” He reaches down and squeezes Felix’s waist in some weird approximation of a hug, the closest they’re going to get with Felix sitting in the chair and Changbin looming over him.</p><p>“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Changbin asks, and Felix remembers they have another session scheduled for tomorrow evening.</p><p>“Of course,” Felix replies, because he’s never missed a session before. Not that he’d even want to - he’s become embarrassingly reliant on his weekly two hours of Changbin. Changbin sends him a smile before hurrying away, hotfooting it out of the library.</p><p>“So that was Changbin?” Jisung says, cryptic. Felix suddenly wishes that he hadn’t spent all of last night on the phone with Jisung, practically gushing about how kind and handsome and talented Changbin is. It’s much harder to pretend that he isn’t completely gone for Changbin now, so he doesn’t even bother trying.</p><p>He slams his head down onto the table, not even caring if he draws attention to himself.</p><p>“He was totally your type,” Jisung remarks. Felix can’t see his face, but he wouldn’t want to see Jisung’s smug smile anyway.</p><p>“Yeah,” Felix agrees.</p><p>“And he seems really nice,” Jisung adds.</p><p>“I know,” Felix moans. He’s hopeless.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix comes down with a chest infection at the beginning of winter.</p><p>He probably got it when he went back to his hometown for a weekend, and his mother had made him take his little sisters and their friends out for a day. He hadn’t minded it at the time, but it had been raining, and Felix has never had the strongest immune system.</p><p>It’s bad enough that Chan forbids him from going to class for a few days, which Felix would be happy about that under normal circumstances, but the illness has him feeling achey and cold and like he’ll pass out if he takes too deep of a breath, so overall he’d just like to get better.</p><p>He’d even had to cancel a session with Changbin, sending the older a sad text apologizing for flaking before turning his phone off and trying his best just to stay alive for the next few days, it felt like.</p><p>Felix’s wrapped up in all of his blankets like a caterpillar in a cocoon when he hears the doorbell ringing. Luckily Chan’s home, so Felix doesn’t have to try to drag himself all the way down the hall, and he shuts his eyes again to try to sleep.</p><p>Only sleep doesn’t come, because he can hear Chan exclaim something in surprise before laughing loudly. Felix’s intrigued enough to almost want to get out of bed but sitting up seems like too much work and he’s not up for the challenge.</p><p>“Felix!” Chan calls, suddenly sounding much closer to his room. Felix looks up blearily only to see Chan pushing his door open, bringing with him his friend Minho - who Felix hadn’t even realized was here too - and...<em>Changbin</em>?</p><p>“What?” Felix croaks out, confused. Maybe he’s hallucinating, because there’s no way Changbin’s in his bedroom right now. He hasn’t vacuumed in months.</p><p>“Felix, you didn’t tell me Changbinnie was your senior mentor,” Chan says, throwing an arm over Changbin’s shoulders like they’re long-lost brothers or something. “I would have told you to invite him over ages ago, jeez.”</p><p>“I mean, you have my number,” Changbin laughs easily, running a hand through his hair. “You could have invited me over yourself at literally any time.”</p><p>“You know Chan doesn’t entertain,” Minho says, leaning against the doorway. “That would mean he’d have to cook.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Changbin says, mock-serious, “it’s probably safer for me to stay away.”</p><p>“Wait,” Felix says petulantly, because it feels like everyone’s in on some joke except for him. “What’s going on? You guys know each other?”</p><p>Changbin breaks away from Chan’s hold and sits on the side of Felix’s bed. “Minho was my mentor last year, and Chan was actually his sophomore mentor when he was a freshman, which is how I know both of them. I didn’t realize you were Chan’s cousin, or I would have told you about it sooner.”</p><p>Felix ponders the fact that Minho and Chan are <em>literally so damn old</em>, but then all of his thoughts fly out of his head because Changbin’s leaning closer, lips pursed in concentration.</p><p>He presses the back of his hand to Felix’s forehead, then clicks his tongue. “How are you feeling? You don’t look that great, to be honest.”</p><p>“He’s doing better after we went to the doctor,” Chan answers for Felix, crossing his arms over his chest. “You should have seen him a few days ago, he looked like something I scraped off the pavement.”</p><p>“You’re so mean to me,” Felix whines, pushing his lip out in a pout. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Changbin’s face do something funny, but it’s back to normal by the time he turns to look.</p><p>“If I was so mean, would I be heating up soup for you?” Chan says, before Minho reaches out and thumps him across the back of his head.</p><p>“Changbin brought the soup,” the oldest explains, sighing. “And it’s going to burn, come on,” he urges, pushing Chan out of the room.</p><p>Which leaves just Changbin and Felix.</p><p>“You brought me soup?” Felix finally asks, unable to stand the awkward silence that falls over them after the older men leave.</p><p>“I thought it might make you feel better,” Changbin says, sheepish. “I was worried that you were really sick. I tried texting you but you didn’t reply, and then I ran into Jisung earlier in the studio – I guess he really does go to class sometimes – and he said that you’ve been sick for a few days now, so I thought I’d make some soup and come see you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Felix says, touched. He feels bad for not responding to Changbin’s texts, but his phone’s been off for days now.</p><p>“Anyway,” Changbin says, clearing his throat. Felix wonders if he’s maybe embarrassed for having made such a big fuss. “I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better.” He does another funny thing with his face, his petal-pink lips parting as if he wants to say something before he shuts his mouth again, looking vaguely constipated. Felix’s too tired to try and figure it out.</p><p>“Thanks for coming to see me,” Felix says, suddenly wanting Changbin to know how grateful he feels. “Sorry for canceling on you. And then not reading your messages.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Changbin says, hand reaching out to ruffle Felix’s hair. Felix almost protests, because it’s been at least three days since he last showered, and he knows his hair must be a greasy mess by now. Instead, he just shuts his eyes and leans into it. He’s sick, he can’t be held accountable for his actions.</p><p>“Feel better, okay?” Changbin says, patting Felix’s cheek before he stands, and Felix almost wants to ask him to stay longer, except that would be pretty weird so he doesn’t. “I’ll see you soon.”</p><p>“See you,” Felix says, watching as Changbin waves at him like a doof before leaving his room, shutting the door behind him.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix’s sitting alone at a late-night chicken shop.</p><p>It might look kind of strange, since everyone else is here with either friends or coworkers, drinking and chatting and generally being merry, and Felix’s sitting in front of a half-eaten basket of chicken, scrolling through his phone.</p><p>In all fairness, he hadn’t come here alone. He’d been hanging out with Minho and Chan at first, but they’d left ten minutes ago to meet up with a different upperclassman friend, leaving Felix alone to finish the food.</p><p>Well, Felix supposes, there are worse ways to spend an evening. He settles on a nice nostalgic song from his playlist before plugging in his headphones and working his way through the leftover wings.</p><p>He’s got Coldplay’s vocals overpowering most of his thoughts, so he’s caught especially off guard when someone smacks his shoulder.</p><p>“What-” he starts, looking up only to see Changbin leaning over him.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not stalking you, I swear,” Changbin says, holding his hands up in surrender. He slides into the empty bench across from Felix and sends him a disarming smile, round cheeks lifting and eyes crinkling pleasantly. Felix figures that Changbin would make an excellent serial killer if he wanted.</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t thinking that until you just said it,” Felix says honestly, laughing at the betrayed look that comes over Changbin’s face. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Stayed late at school to work on some stuff,” Changbin says, shrugging. “Bunch of dumb project requirements I needed to iron out.”</p><p>“Sound boring,” Felix deadpans, and then nudges the basket of chicken over. “Maybe this will help?”</p><p>Changbin grimaces, then waves Felix’s hand away. “Thanks, but I can’t. I’m on a diet right now,” he adds glumly, staring at the chicken. Felix’s never had to diet before, a twig by genetics and by dancing, but he’s no stranger to the amount of love for chicken he can see in Changbin’s eyes.</p><p>“Why do you need to diet?” Felix says, and before his brain can make his mouth stop moving he blurts out, “I mean, you already look perfect.”</p><p>There’s a pause where Changbin looks at Felix, who can already feel all the blood in his entire body rushing to his ears. But then Changbin smiles, kicking at Felix’s leg under the table.</p><p>“Thanks,” he says, mouth twitching, “but I get so bloated if I eat fried food at night.”</p><p>He’s smiling as he talks, but Felix can still see his eyes flick back to the chicken every now and then.</p><p>“Do you have something important to do tomorrow?” Felix asks, nudging back at Changbin’s foot.</p><p>“No?” Changbin says, confused. “Nothing other than our mentoring session.”</p><p>And, well. That’s pretty cute, that Changbin thinks their mentoring sessions are important.</p><p>“Then who’s going to know if you’re a little bloated for one morning?” Felix says. Changbin fixes him with an incredulous look, as if he can’t believe Felix’s trying to play him like this, but then a slow smile spreads across his face, and Felix knows he’s won this.</p><p>“I guess you’re right,” Changbin says, reaching out to finally eat.</p><p>Changbin’s even a cute eater, Felix realizes with dismay. His round cheeks pouch out and his eyes light up, and every once in a while he flashes satisfied little smiles in Felix’s direction. Whatever hope Felix had had that he’d maybe be able to get over his crush dies right then, and Felix can’t even bring himself to care.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix lingers in the kitchen as long as he can, feeling thoroughly out of place.</p><p>“Are you just going to hide here all night?” Seungmin asks him, sidling up beside him. Felix shrugs and takes a sip of whatever ungodly concoction is in his plastic cup. He’s not much of a drinker, and parties like this remind him exactly why.</p><p>They’re at a party thrown by some random senior in the performing arts department, probably one of Chan’s numerous friends that Felix has seen in passing before. It’s loud, smelly, and exactly what Felix had expected. He’s not sure if he likes it.</p><p>“I don’t really know anyone,” Felix says, keeping his gaze trained on the violently blue liquid. He wishes Jisung was here, but he’s not a fan of crowds, and Felix hadn’t pushed him. </p><p>“That’s not true,” Seungmin points out. “You know me, and some other freshmen. Like Hyunjin,” Seungmin points out, referring to the tall, pretty, fellow dance major that Felix has seen him hang out with around campus. “And you know Changbin, obviously.”</p><p>“Changbin’s here?” Felix asks, trying to sound much less interested than he actually is. Seungmin must see right through him, because she sends him an unimpressed look.</p><p>“He got here a little while ago,” Seungmin says, rolling her eyes. “Which you would know, if you actually left the kitchen.”</p><p>Point made and understood, Felix downs the rest of his drink and decides he might as well try to see Changbin for himself. It’s been a week or so since he’s last seen the sophomore since they took a break from their regular mentoring sessions due to semester finals, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, he misses him.</p><p>It doesn’t take long to find him. As Felix had expected, Changbin’s at the center of the party, surrounded by his large group of friends and what looks to be nearly every music major in the school. He’s got an untouched bottle of beer in his hand, and Felix wonders why he isn’t drinking it. Of course, unlike Felix, Changbin obviously doesn’t need to be drunk to socialize.</p><p>Contented with observing from a distance, Felix’s just about to turn around and head back to the kitchen when Changbin suddenly looks over at him. There’s a moment where Felix’s afraid Changbin’s going to do something embarrassing like point him out to the entire group – his palms get sweaty at the thought – but instead Changbin just excuses himself and walks over to where Felix’s huddled in the doorway.</p><p>“Felix,” Changbin says, happy. He pulls Felix into a hug, both arms, and Felix can feel the cold beer bottle press into the small of his back through the thin fabric of his shirt. </p><p>“I didn’t know you’d be coming,” Changbin says, pulling away to speak. He keeps an arm around Felix’s waist, and Felix has to convince himself he doesn’t like it half as much as he actually does.</p><p>“My friend Seungmin made me,” Felix says, shrugging. Changbin smiles at him, a soft, secret little smile that Felix’s been seeing more of lately.</p><p>“I’m glad he did,” Changbin says, brushing his hair out of his face. “But you know, if you don’t want to stay, we can leave. I know that these big house parties aren’t everyone’s scene.”</p><p>“You’d leave too?” Felix asks, confused. “But all your friends are here.”</p><p>Changbin pulls a face, setting his unopened bottle down on a nearby table. “I see them too much anyway. I’d rather spend time with you.”</p><p>Felix feels something bright and hot settle inside him, warming him from within. It’s like he has a little lightbulb in his stomach, and it only lights up when Changbin’s around. It’s annoying, to say the least.</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Felix says, sounding hopelessly excited even to himself. “Let me just tell my friend I’m leaving, so he doesn’t worry.”</p><p>And then, maybe because whatever he drank earlier is making him bold, he grabs Changbin’s hand with his own and drags him over to where he saw Seungmin standing earlier. Changbin, to his credit, doesn’t seem to mind the sudden contact, and even lets go of Felix’s hand for a split second so he can lace their fingers together.</p><p>“Hey, Seungmin!” Felix calls out, watching as Seungmin and the group of tall, pretty boys he’s standing with – Hyunjin and Choi Bomin and his acting friends, Felix recognizes – all turn to look at him and Changbin. Felix rethinks his methods then, because Seungmin’s friends all immediately turn to each other and begin whispering. Felix catches Changbin’s name more than a few times.</p><p>“I’m, uh,” Felix starts, suddenly shy. “I’m leaving early. I’ll see you tomorrow?”</p><p>Seungmin looks at the two of them, and then at their clasped hands. Felix knows this probably looks a lot worse than it is - him and Changbin leaving early, together.</p><p>“You’re Seungmin, right?” Changbin says suddenly, leaning over Felix’s shoulder. “Felix’s told me about you! It’s nice to meet you.”</p><p>“You too,” Seungmin stumbles, bowing slightly. “Um, bye Felix. I’ll talk to you later,” he adds, fixing Felix with the <em>look</em>.</p><p>Felix’s already bracing himself for the interrogation he knows he’s going to get tomorrow, but then Changbin uses his grip on his hand to pull him out of the kitchen and all the way out of the house.</p><p>“Are you hungry?” Changbin asks casually, swinging their linked hands between them. His hand’s warm and big, although it’s not hard to have bigger hands than Felix does, but Felix still likes the feeling of it in his own. Felix nods, and Changbin directs them over to his car, parked on the street.</p><p>“Good, because I’m starving,” Changbin says, and he’s so stupidly polite that he even opens the door for Felix before getting into the driver’s seat. Felix struggles to stop himself from bashing his head against the dashboard in frustration. Changbin has no business being so charming, treating Felix like he’s royalty or something when in reality Felix once fell asleep on the bus and ended up in Cheongdam.</p><p>“Are you okay to drive?” Felix asks, because even when he’s going through an internal crisis, safety comes first. He’d already seen some people passed out at the party, and it’s not even midnight yet.</p><p>Changbin sends him a smile, and then apparently unable to help himself, reaches out and pets Felix’s hair. Felix makes a noise of protest at that – he’d actually tried doing his hair tonight.</p><p>“I didn’t drink tonight,” Changbin confides in him, putting the car into gear and pulling out of the street. Felix’s not even sure where they’re going, but he trusts Changbin and his promise of food so he doesn’t really care.</p><p>“I didn’t really feel like getting all sloppy at some party I don’t even really care about,” Changbin keeps going, looking over at Felix before looking back at the road.</p><p>“I have to drink,” Felix says, slumping back in his seat. “So I’m not so damn shy. I’m not even an introvert, I swear, but sometimes talking to people is just…hard.”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with being a little shy,” Changbin says, after a pause. The radio isn’t playing, and the sound of their conversation sounds too intimate against the silence. Felix generally doesn’t talk about his feelings much, he’s more of a listener. Confiding in Changbin feels weird, but also Felix is comfortable with him. It’s a startling realization.</p><p>“After all,” Changbin continues, and Felix can see Changbin glance at him out of the corner of his eye. “I thought everything went smoothly when we first met. Even back in high school. And now that I know you better, I still think you’re just fine the way you are.”</p><p>They end up at a terribly run-down fast food burger joint, because Changbin insists they have the best french fries and shakes in the world. Felix would rather be eating chicken, but Changbin’s paying for the meal and he’s certainly not one to turn down free food.</p><p>Felix blinks at Changbin from across the booth, cupping both hands around the heavy glass of his shake. Whatever he may have drank earlier has certainly worn off by now, because he feels the stone-cold thrum of sobriety sink into his veins. He hopes he doesn’t look too awkward. He certainly feels awkward.</p><p>“You should try dipping them in the milkshake,” Changbin says, clearly noticing Felix’s lack of activity.</p><p>“That sounds gross,” Felix says, wrinkling his nose. He’s not exactly an adventurous eater - he knows what he likes and sticks to it. There’s nothing wrong with that.</p><p>“You should be more open-minded,” Changbin teases him, and when Felix opens his mouth to protest that he’s extremely open-minded, thank you very much, Changbin seizes the opportunity to pop a shake-dipped fry into Felix’s mouth.</p><p>Felix chews it begrudgingly. Unfortunately for his self-esteem, the combination of salty and sweet is actually really, really good.</p><p>“You like it,” Changbin teases, eyes curling up into crescents. Felix kicks him under the table and tries not to freak out when Changbin traps Felix’s ankle with his own, keeping them linked together.</p><p>“Maybe,” Felix says, not willing to admit defeat. “Probably would have been better with a chocolate milkshake, though.”</p><p>Changbin looks like Felix’s just insulted his grandmother.</p><p>“Vanilla has always been, and will always be the superior flavor,” he says, puffing his already broad chest even further out. Felix can’t help but laugh at him, and Changbin looks inordinately pleased with himself at the fact that he’s made Felix laugh.</p><p>They argue over little things like that, going back and forth for what feels like only five minutes but is closer to two hours when Felix finally checks his watch again. It’s nearing two am, which is way past his preferred bedtime, and he can already feel the tendrils of sleep curling over him. Changbin seems to notice Felix’s apprehension at the time and waves the waitress over, paying for the both of them despite Felix’s protests.</p><p>“It’s getting too late to be out, huh?” Changbin says, gentle. He ushers Felix out of the booth and the two of them head back to Changbin’s car. Felix stops once they reach it, suddenly remembering something.</p><p>“Aw man, I’m going to wake Chan up,” Felix says, grimacing. He knows was planning on waking up at dawn the next day to get an early start on his latest project, and Felix had promised to stay at Seungmin’s apartment for the night because he knows the elder is a light sleeper and he doesn’t want to wake him up. Only he’s not with Seungmin anymore, and he feels awkward calling him now.</p><p>“I told him I’d stay with a friend,” Felix says, rubbing his hands over his face. He’s probably smearing his BB cream around - what little of it hasn’t worn off by now, at least. His pink cheeks and freckles are probably out on display now, and he can only hope that Changbin can’t see them in the dim light of the lampposts. </p><p>“You can stay at my place,” Changbin offers, and Felix looks up at him.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Felix says, conflicted. He doesn’t want to inconvenience Changbin, who probably hadn’t signed up for a night of essentially babysitting Felix. “I don’t want to be a burden.”</p><p>“You’re never a burden on me,” Changbin says quietly. Felix can’t exactly read the expression on his face, a combination of it being something he’s never seen before and the parking lot lighting being a little too dim.</p><p>“Felix,” Changbin says again, suddenly. He cups Felix’s face in between his hands, tilting it down just a bit so that they’re staring at each other. It’s not unusual for them – Changbin’s the touchiest person Felix knows – but this feels different from before, and it has Felix’s heart pounding wildly in his chest. Felix’s sure that Changbin can probably hear it.</p><p>“I’m going to kiss you,” Changbin says, staring straight into Felix’s eyes. “And if you don’t want me to, please say something now, and I won’t.”</p><p>Felix stays silent, and then Changbin’s leaning in until their lips meet.</p><p>It doesn’t feel like fireworks, what for being Felix’s first kiss and all. But he’s never felt warmer before in his life, and that’s pretty nice.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix wakes up in a bed that’s not his own.</p><p>He almost doesn’t recognize it at first, which only makes him panic <em>more</em>, until he gathers his wits and decides to look around the room for clues. A bright blue sweater thrown over the desk chair, a familiar green backpack in the corner, a banner with his university’s name on it.</p><p>This is Changbin’s room, Felix knows. He looks around the bed, and then down at himself, glad to see that he’s fully clothed. It’s not like he was drunk last night, but still. Better to be sure about these things.</p><p>The more he stares at it, Felix realizes the side of the bed he’s not laying on looks untouched, as if Changbin had never slept there at all. Felix doesn’t know whether to be touched or disappointed that the elder hadn’t shared the bed with him.</p><p>Speaking of Changbin, Felix should probably go find him, because the alternative is staying in Changbin’s warm, soft bed that smells like him, and Felix will lose his mind if he does that.</p><p>He gets out of bed and halfway across the room before he realizes that he’s wearing different clothes than the ones he had on last night. These are probably Changbin’s, if the way they only reach up to his ankles is anything to go by. He stares at the rabbit-printed pajama pants decorating his legs and wonders if Changbin can get any cuter.</p><p>Changbin’s apartment is a lot bigger than it had looked last night in the dark, Felix thinks. It’s bright and well-decorated, and there’s another closed bedroom doorshe walks past on his way to the living room.</p><p>Changbin’s not asleep on the couch as Felix had originally suspected. The smell of sizzling butter wafts over from the kitchen, and Felix deliberates for a moment. It might be Changbin, but it also might be his roommate, and Felix’s not sure if he’s ready to introduce himself to them yet.</p><p>In the end, the nagging emptiness in his stomach wins out over any potential embarrassment, and Felix pads over to whoever’s cooking in the kitchen.</p><p>It turns out to be Changbin after all, and Felix watches from the entryway as he maneuvers around the kitchen with practiced ease, humming to himself as he whisks eggs. Handsome, talented, and apparently a chef, Felix thinks to himself in disbelief.</p><p>“Whatcha making?” Felix finally interrupts, feeling like a creep just staring at Changbin’s back.</p><p>“Oh, Felix! I didn’t know you were up already,” Changbin says, startled. He whirls around, and Felix notes that he’s wearing a yellow apron with white daises printed on it. Felix is unbearably endeared. For someone that wears a lot of black, Changbin sure has a lot of cute clothes at home.</p><p>“Good morning,” Felix replies, suddenly shy. He’s not sure what the protocol for this is. What do you say to the boy who kissed you last night?</p><p>Luckily for him, Changbin takes the initiative and moves forward, wrapping one arm around Felix’s waist and kissing him on the mouth quickly. Felix blinks, a little surprised by the suddenness of it all, and Changbin suddenly looks nervous.</p><p>“Sorry, I’m being too forward,” he apologizes, taking a step back. “Was that okay?”</p><p>“It was more than okay,” Felix says, feeling the beginnings of something bright and happy begin to curl up in his stomach. </p><p>“What the fuck,” a voice says from behind them, and Felix whirls around, terrified, to see another man stood in the doorway of the kitchen, rubbing sleepily at his eyes.</p><p>“Oh god,” Changbin grumbles, tucking Felix into his side. “Felix, this is one of my roommates, Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Felix. My, uh, freshman mentee.”</p><p>“You’re Changbin’s roommate?” Felix asks, blinking. He makes a mental note to tell Seungmin about this.</p><p>Hyunjin squints at the two of them, which might have made Felix nervous if not for the fact that Hyunjin looks completely non-threatening with his bright purple pajama set and his bedhead sticking straight up.</p><p>“My sophomore mentor never kisses me in the morning,” Hyunjin complains finally, after a moment of just scrutinizing the two of them. “And you’re making him pancakes? Dude. I asked you to make me pancakes last month.”</p><p>“Leave him alone,” Changbin says easily, even though his cheeks are tinted red. He turns back to the stove where Felix can see that he is, indeed, making pancakes. “And I’m making pancakes for everyone, not just Felix, so calm your horses.”</p><p>“That’s not even the phrase,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes. He brushes past Felix to grab a banana from the countertop, and then send Felix a bright grin on his way back. He leaves the kitchen, then, and Felix watches him go and can’t help but feel completely confused. He’s never really spoken to Hyunjin before, even though they’re in the same major. They have no classes together, and Seungmin’s always vaguely secretive whenever he leaves to go hang out with the lanky dancer.</p><p>“Sorry about him,” Changbin apologizes, flipping a pancake with ease. “I didn’t think he’d wake up before noon.”</p><p>“He seems,” Felix starts, trying to think of what to say next, “nice.”</p><p>Changbin laughs at that. “He can be kind of weird, but he’s really a good friend. You’ll like him eventually, everyone does. Plus, he likes you already, I can tell.”</p><p>“I didn’t even say anything to him,” Felix protests, wondering how on earth someone could just come across Felix and immediately like him before Felix’s even had the chance to prove himself.</p><p>“It’s because you’re cute,” Changbin says, reaching up to pinch at one of Felix’s cheeks. Felix pulls away with a grimace, knowing that his freckles are showing, but Changbin’s hand lingers. “And because everyone likes you, Felix.”</p><p>Changbin’s eyes are soft and warm and fond and Felix can only look at them for a moment before he has to turn away, face heating up. He bumps Changbin’s arm with his shoulder.</p><p>“I’m hungry,” he says, because the feeling in his stomach is easier to focus on than whatever’s going on up in his chest.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix finds himself at Changbin’s apartment more and more. It’s probably a relief for Chan, who doesn’t have to pick up after him as much anymore.</p><p>It’s gotten to the point where he’s pretty sure he’s got at least a week’s worth of clothes stashed around Changbin’s room, and he leaves his dance gear in the corner of the living room because he usually stops by before practice anyway, and his spare toothbrush has become a permanent fixture in the bathroom.</p><p>They know each other so well by now that it’s almost scary. In the span of only a couple of months, Felix has managed to chip his way through Changbin’s walls and expose the soft, affectionate person within. For someone who looks so burly and stern, Changbin’s the clingiest cuddler that Felix has ever met.</p><p>They still don’t have a name for what they are, but Felix’s not too concerned about it. He’s not in any rush to try to force a label on them, and he’s pretty happy with where they are right now. It’s more than he ever thought he’d get to have.</p><p>Felix’s sitting in Changbin’s lap, the two of them curled up in Changbin’s big ugly orange blanket and watching a movie on Felix’s beat up old laptop.</p><p>“Your screen is bigger,” Changbin had pointed out when Felix had mentioned that Changbin’s laptop was both newer and more functional.</p><p>Changbin’s got both arms wrapped around Felix’s waist, his chin pressed lightly against Felix’s shoulder. Felix’s never really thought he was much of a hand-holder, but there’s something about seeing Changbin all soft and comfortable, wearing his oldest sweatshirt and his glasses, that makes Felix take one of Changbin’s hands and lace their fingers together.</p><p>The movie they’re watching is new, one with a smaller cast and new faces. Changbin’s kind of a film snob, Felix has found out, and it’s cute to watch him get all worked up when they watch things together.</p><p>“I hate the main character,” Changbin says, voice rumbling through his chest so that Felix can physically feel it. “She’s so rude.”</p><p>“It’s her parents’ fault,” Felix points out, because it’s true. Kids that are treated poorly don’t have good role models he figures, so naturally they walk through the world differently, all on their own. “I’m sure she’ll get better.”</p><p>“Parents like hers shouldn’t even be allowed to have kids,” Changbin spits out, voice containing an unexpected amount of vitriol. It surprises Felix, who’s never really heard Changbin get angry before. Even when he’s frustrated, his tone never rises past slightly displeased.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Felix asks, unwinding Changbin’s hands from around him so that he can turn and look Changbin in the eye. The older boy isn’t meeting his eyes, which is strange and just a little bit worrying.</p><p>“Sorry,” Changbin says, biting his lip. “Just a rough day. My dad called.”</p><p>Changbin doesn’t talk about his parents too much. Felix knows they live somewhere in the city, since Changbin’s mentioned that he grew up in Seoul, but as far as Felix knows, they don’t come to visit and Changbin doesn’t go to see them.</p><p>“Was it a bad call?” Felix asks, cautiously. Changbin fiddles with Felix’s hands, cupping them in his own like a child’s.</p><p>“I don’t really get along with my parents,” Changbin says, careful not to meet his eyes. It’s so unusual, coming from someone Felix has never known to be shy. “They don’t really approve of my life choices.”</p><p>“They don’t like that you went into the arts?” Felix asks, surprised. He would have thought that any parents with a son as wonderful as Changbin would have been proud to show him off.</p><p>“That, among other things,” Changbin says as he finally looks up, an unfamiliar glint in his eye. He squeezes Felix’s hands once, sends him a sad smile. All of a sudden, Felix thinks he understands what Changbin’s trying to say.</p><p>“Oh,” Felix says, at a loss for words. He’s never been in a situation like this before.</p><p>He’s grateful that his parents have always been supportive of whatever he’s wanted to do, whether it be dancing or sports or going out with boys. Sometimes even too supportive at times, but he knows that his parents have always been and will always be there for him. The thought that Changbin can’t expect the same from his own family makes something deep in Felix’s chest ache for him. </p><p>“I’m sorry they’re like that,” Felix offers lamely, not knowing what else he can say. Feeling stupid, he leans in and presses a kiss to Changbin’s cheek, hoping it conveys what he can’t in words. </p><p>“I’ve gotten used to it,” Changbin says, and he still sounds kind of sad but he’s smiling again. “Anyway, I’m much happier the way things are now.” And with that, he takes Felix’s face in his hands and leans in to kiss him properly.</p><p>They’ve kissed so many times by now that Felix should really stop getting so excited when it happens, but there’s still a little part of his brain that can’t believe this is actually real. Sometimes at night, he wakes up to thoughts of Changbin still filling his mind, as if convinced this has all been a dream.</p><p>It’s definitely real, though, because Felix can feel the warmth of Changbin’s broad shoulders under his hands, his soft lips against Felix’s mouth, one hand now pressed against Felix’s hip.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Hyunjin’s voice suddenly interrupts them, and Felix practically falls backwards off of Changbin when he sees Hyunjin standing in the doorway, hands clasped firmly over his eyes. </p><p>“This is why you should knock,” Changbin says levelly, rolling his eyes. Felix is too busy figuring out how to make his ears turn less red to come up with a retort of his own.</p><p>“I did,” Hyunjin whines, peeking through his fingers. “You were just too busy eating Felix’s face to notice.”</p><p>“Alright, I’m going home!” Felix announces loudly, officially too embarrassed to stay in this apartment any longer.</p><p>“Stay for dinner at least,” Changbin says, dragging Felix back against his chest by his middle. “I’ll cook.”</p><p>“Thank god,” Hyunjin says, flopping on the bed beside them. “That’s what I came in here to ask you. I’m starving.”</p><p>“I’m not cooking for you,” Changbin snaps, shoving Hyunjin off the bed. “Only for Felix.”</p><p>-</p><p>The morning after Felix’s first dance showcase, he wakes up to his head falling off his shoulders.</p><p>Or at least, it <em>feels</em> like it’s falling off his shoulders, with how bad his headache is. Opening his eyes hurts too much to do, so instead he just groans and buries his face into the soft, nice-smelling pillow underneath him.</p><p>It smells so nice and comforting and familiar that Felix soon realizes that it’s Changbin’s pillow, which means that he’s in Changbin’s bed, which is completely fine except he’s alone right now when he’s really, <em>really </em>in the mood to cuddle.</p><p>Luckily the universe must be favoring him today, because after only five minutes of Felix lying in bed and feeling sorry for himself, Changbin walks in through the door.</p><p>“Hyung,” Felix croaks, wincing at how his voice sounds like he’d gargled rocks for a few hours. He tries to think back to what he did last night and is vaguely disconcerted to find that he doesn’t remember any of it.</p><p>“Look who’s finally awake,” Changbin says, but the booming sound of his voice makes the pounding in Felix’s head spike painfully and Felix shushes him, whining.</p><p>“Sorry,” Changbin whispers, kneeling on the bed and drawing Felix into his arms. Felix sinks into them gratefully, pressing his cheek against the broad expanse of Changbin’s chest. He won’t admit it out loud, but Changbin’s hugs are the best, rivaling maybe only his mother’s.</p><p>“What happened last night?” Felix asks, shutting his eyes again. Changbin breathes out a quiet laugh and presses a kiss to Felix’s forehead, and then apparently is so amused that he laughs again and plants another kiss to Felix’s cheek.</p><p>“Well, all of the dance department went out to a karaoke bar and <em>someone</em> kept throwing back sake bombs until they almost puked,” Changbin teases, flopping down onto his back and drawing Felix down with him.</p><p>“I didn’t,” Felix says, horrified. If he really concentrates, he can vaguely remember arriving at the bar, but everything past that is a blur. </p><p>“You didn’t actually throw up,” Changbin reassures him, rubbing circles into Felix’s back. It feels so good that Felix thinks he might be physically melting into a puddle. “You did, however, sing about four different IU songs.”</p><p>“No,” Felix gasps, eyes opening wide. He loves IU, but that’s a secret.</p><p>“And,” Changbin continues gleefully, “it turns out that you’re an adorable drunk.”</p><p>“I am not,” Felix lies blatantly, because he actually is familiar with his drunken aegyo habits. Jisung’s told him before that he gets all affectionate after a few drinks, but Felix also has a bad habit of not remembering what had happened the few times he’d gotten drunk with Jisung in high school, so he’s never been able to confirm or deny whatever Jisung’s told him.</p><p>“You are,” Changbin says smugly, sounding like the cat that’s caught the canary. “Look,” he adds, wiggling a bit until he can pull his phone out of his back pocket. He opens his gallery and scrolls through a few photos before selecting one and handing his phone to Felix.</p><p>Felix takes it and squints at the screen, seeing a slightly blurry version of himself with puffed out cheeks and an exaggerated pout. Horrified, he scrolls through the next few photos to see him doing a cutesy V-pose, then doing a hand heart with Changbin, and then smacking a big kiss to Changbin’s cheek. The Changbin in the photos looks just as elated as the Changbin beside him does.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Felix says, rolling off of the older man so he can bury himself in the blankets. “I can never go out in public again.”</p><p>“Why not?” Changbin says, pulling Felix back against himself like he’s as light as a feather. There are definitely perks to Changbin being able to bench a couple hundred pounds, but this is not one of them. “You were so cute. And I’m sure everyone else was too drunk to remember it, anyway.”</p><p>“I’m embarrassed,” Felix admits, looking up at Changbin’s face. He doesn’t find any judgment there, only fondness. It makes Felix feel all warm and fuzzy, and so he gives into it and leans up to kiss Changbin quickly.</p><p>As soon as Felix pulls away Changbin kisses him again, this time for longer. Felix almost lets him continue, but then remember that he’s probably got atrocious morning breath right now, and so reluctantly pulls away.</p><p>“I should brush my teeth so I don’t smell like hot garbage,” Felix says, wincing. Changbin laughs, loud and bright, and it hurts Felix’s head but he’d like to hear it again anyway. Changbin sends him to the bathroom with a pat on his back.</p><p>“I bought soup,” Changbin adds, watching Felix walk away. “Bone broth. It’ll be good for your hangover.”</p><p>Felix isn’t ready to say it yet, but he’s pretty sure he’s in love.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix heads to the campus cafe after class before he goes to meet Changbin, who’d texted him an hour ago telling him to stop by his rehearsals.</p><p>Felix hasn’t seen too much of his almost-boyfriend – whatever they are, they should probably really talk about it – In the past few days, mostly because Changbin had been swamped with work for his upcoming final exam and Felix hadn’t wanted to bother him. But clearly bothering him isn’t much of an issue, since Changbin had sent him more than ten whiny texts over the course of the day, asking to see him. Sometimes Changbin’s so surprisingly whiny and childish around Felix sometimes, it makes Felix feel oddly special that only he gets to see that side of him.</p><p>Felix picks up a couple of muffins and a cup of coffee from the shop before making his way over to the gym, where he knows Changbin’s hanging out at this morning to blow off some steam. He knows how busy finals can get, and he’s sure Changbin wouldn’t have eaten much today.</p><p>Once he gets there, it doesn’t take long for Felix to find him. He’s at the squat rack, lifting a barbell that probably weighs more than the two of them put together, and Felix has to stop for a moment just to admire the way his muscles bunch up, sweat collecting on his forehead and wetting his bangs. It’s a good look, Felis has to admit.</p><p>“I’m not doing it and that’s final,” Changbin says, sounding uncharacteristically frustrated as he frowns at Chan, whom Felix has just noticed standing beside the rack. </p><p>“You said last year that you’d consider it,” Chan says, frowning back. “I don’t want you to regret it if you don’t try.”</p><p>“Try what?” Felix interrupts, too curious to stay silent. Changbin turns to look at him, the stony expression on his face melting into a smile once he sees Felix and his armful of food.</p><p>“Is that for me?” he asks giddily, pointing toward the coffee. Felix nods and Changbin takes it gratefully, downing nearly half the cup in a single gulp.</p><p>“I swear you’re perfect,” Changbin sighs dreamily, and Felix honestly isn’t sure if Changbin’s talking about him or the coffee. </p><p>“I figured you could use a snack,” Felix says, handing over the little paper bag filled with muffins. Changbin takes it and then smacks a loud, embarrassing kiss to Felix’s cheek, which has Chan sighing as Felix shoves him away hastily.</p><p>“Quit it,” Felix mumbles, and then continues before Changbin can start to pout, “anyway, what were you guys talking about earlier? You don’t want to do something?”</p><p>“I’m trying to get him to sign up for the annual campfire contest," Chan starts, only to be interrupted by Felix asking, "what's that?"</p><p>"It's the singing competition the music department holds at the end of every year. We build a big bonfire every year, because you know, it's more fun that way,” Chan explains, turning to face Felix with an exasperated expression. “He’d do so well, but he doesn’t want to go.”</p><p>“You sing?” Felix asks, surprised. He turns to face Changbin only to find him looking sheepishly down at his feet.</p><p>“I don’t,” Changbin says, at the same time Chan says, “he’s really good!”</p><p>“You never told me that you sing,” Felix says, feeling a little put out. He likes to think that he knows Changbin pretty well by now, so it catches him off guard to find out that Changbin can apparently sing well enough to try out for a contest.</p><p>“I don’t really sing in front of people,” Changbin explains, face pinking. “I’m not all that great at it, and all my friends are music majors anyway, so they’re the real experts. Chan just knows because he’s worked with me on a couple of songs before.”</p><p>“He really has a great voice,” Chan says, and then turns back to face Changbin, who’s setting the weights back on the rack now. “I’d help you make the backing track and everything. You could pick literally any song you want. I think it would just be a nice thing to try. The school deserves to hear you at least once.”</p><p>Changbin bites his lip, looking conflicted. “I don’t know. I’ve never sang for anyone before, you know that.”</p><p>Changbin looks down at the floor, at the same time that Chan looks over his shoulder at Felix and mouths <em>stage fright</em>.</p><p>It’s surprising news. Felix had never once considered the fact Changbin might not like performing in front of people, but the more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. He’s never actually seen Changbin perform his songs, although he’s released plenty online by now. He never performed at any of the talent shows back in high school either, even though everyone had known that he’d been producing music back then too.</p><p>“Anyway,” Changbin continues, apparently having had enough of the topic. “I don’t have time to worry about that right now. I need to concentrate on finals first.”</p><p>“Thanks for stopping by,” Changbin says, turning to face Felix. He smiles, that soft smile he reserves only for him. “I’m glad I got to see you, even if only for a bit.”</p><p>“Break a leg,” Felix says, reaching out to wipe a drop of sweat off of Changbin’s nose because he doesn’t know what to do with his hands now that they’re empty. “Text me when rehearsal’s over?”</p><p>“Of course.” Changbin smiles at him, and then presses another kiss to Felix’s cheek even though Chan’s still present. Felix hates that he’s so embarrassed about it, but he doesn’t try to stop Changbin since he doesn’t know when he’ll see the older again, and he’s missed him these past few days. One kiss can’t hurt.</p><p>Beside them, Chan rolls his eyes and pulls Felix back by his shoulders. “Go back to rehearsals, I’m sure they’re missing you by now. I’ll walk Felix back.”</p><p>Felix doesn’t need to be walked back, but it’s not like he can tell that to Chan. They’re leaving the building when Chan turns to him with a serious look on his face.</p><p>“Look, about the singing thing,” he starts, and Felix suddenly feels cornered, like this was Chan’s plan all along.</p><p>“I didn’t even know he could sing,” Felix says, not exactly sure what he’s arguing for. He feels like he should be on Changbin’s side, just on principle.</p><p>“He doesn’t talk about it, but he really likes it,” Chan explains, expression suddenly soft. “It’s just, everyone always just focused on his rap skills, and no one ever told him he was good at singing so he doesn’t have much confidence in himself. But could you just talk to him about it?”</p><p>Felix considers it. He’s very familiar himself with people that try to push dancing on him over his other hobbies. And he likes dance, he really does, but he would have lost his mind if he didn’t have his other friends and hobbies to turn to. He thinks maybe someone should have been around to support Changbin earlier.</p><p>“I’ll see what I can do,” Felix finally concedes, shrugging. He doesn’t want to give Chan too much hope, since he knows how stubborn Changbin can be. But Chan’s stubborn too, and Felix just hopes there’s a way to appease both of them.</p><p>“Thanks,” Chan says, smiling gratefully at him. “If there’s anyone that can convince him, it’s you.”</p><p>-</p><p>The nice thing about hanging out with Changbin is that Felix never has to worry about appearances around him. </p><p>Changbin never minds if Felix is drenched in sweat after coming back from his nightly dance practices, or if he smells kind of ripe because he ran out of deodorant in the morning, or if his skin doesn’t look too great because he’s too lazy to put on BB cream and he broke out after eating too much cake with Jisung. Felix feels like these are things he’d probably have to worry about around other people, but Changbin is always eager to take Felix just as he is.</p><p>Maybe a little too eager, Felix muses, thinking of all the times Changbin’s squished his face or petted his hair for no reason at all, but he thinks that he’d much rather have his touchy, overly-emotional Changbin over a cold and distant Changbin any day. And he’ll admit, sometimes it’s nice to have someone brush their fingers through your hair or pull you into their lap just because they missed you. It’s sweet.</p><p>Even now, Felix’s sprawled across Changbin’s legs, idly flipping through iTunes as the older eagerly watches some drama. Hyunjin’s out right now, probably with Seungmin again, so Changbin gets to watch his romcom reruns in peace without anyone ragging on him about it. Changbin’s left hand is slung lazily over Felix’s chest, occasionally rubbing circles into it. Felix kind of feels like a little kid being soothed to sleep.</p><p>“I can’t believe he just forgot all about her,” Changbin exclaims in frustration, gesturing with his free hand at the television.</p><p>“He’s got amnesia,” Felix says, because he knows the general plot of the drama and more importantly, knows that Changbin always likes getting a response.</p><p>“He could still try harder,” Changbin sniffs, moving his hand up to Felix’s hair. “I mean, it’s not like I could ever forget you.”</p><p>“Aw,” Felix says, because the statement kind of takes him off guard and he can’t think of anything more intelligent to say. Instead, he just stares up at Changbin with his mouth open. He looks cute from this angle. He looks cute from any angle, Felix thinks helplessly.</p><p>“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Changbin chides him, patting his cheek deceptively softly. </p><p>Felix shuts his mouth.</p><p>-</p><p>Felix runs into Jisung when he’s leaving his last dance class for the day. </p><p>His friend’s sat on the ground next to the doorway, head tipped back. Felix wonders if he’s sleeping, and then kicks at Jisung’s shins anyway.</p><p>“Ow, what the hell,” Jisung complains, opening his eyes and rubbing at his leg with a sour look on his face. Felix smirks. He knew he wasn’t really sleeping.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Felix asks, wiping the sweat off his face with his shirt. “I didn’t know we were meeting tonight.”</p><p>“I’m not here to meet you,” Jisung grumbles, pulling himself to his feet. “I’m supposed to be heading to a cafe with Minho, but he’s got practice tonight so I said I’d just meet him here at the practice rooms instead.”</p><p>Felix waggles his eyebrows at Jisung, who turns red and smacks Felix none-too-gently on the chest. He supposes that it’s payback for the kick.</p><p>“Not like that,” Jisung protests. “He’s in charge of organizing the campfire contest, and stupid Hyunjin volunteered me to be the freshman representative so I have to go to the planning meetings too.”</p><p>Felix does remember that now that Jisung mentions it. It had been funny at the time to watch Jisung nearly start a fight with Hyunjin at the student council meeting, but he didn’t realize that Jisung would actually have to do any work as part of his job. He hopes Minho’s not too strict.</p><p>“Oh, that thing,” Felix says once Jisung mentions the contest, thinking back to Changbin’s adamant refusal to join. “What do you guys do at the meetings?”</p><p>“We need to come up with a theme,” Jisung says, leaning back against the wall and looking frustrated. “And it’s hard, dude. I don’t know what’s gonna sell.”</p><p>Like a bolt of lightning, an idea suddenly hits Felix.</p><p>“Hey,” he starts, waiting for Jisung to look at him before continuing. “You know that TV show, Masked Singer?”</p><p>-</p><p>Felix knocks impatiently on the door of Changbin’s apartment until Hyunjin finally opens it, looking exasperated.</p><p>“Don’t you have a key or something?” Hyunjin whines, stepping aside to let Felix in. He’s wearing a neon yellow pajama set and looks like he’d just gotten out of bed. Felix would have felt bad for waking him up, except for the fact that it’s only seven in the evening and there’s no way Hyunjin was actually sleeping.</p><p>“No? Why would I have a key to your apartment?” Felix asks, confused.</p><p>“I thought – never mind,” Hyunjin says, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Changbin’s in his room.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Felix says, dropping his jacket on top of the already-full coat rack and heading down the familiar hallway. It’s not until he’s almost to Changbin’s room that he realizes why Hyunjin thought he’d have a key.</p><p>He and Changbin aren’t like that, he thinks. Giving a key is something you do for a serious, long-term boyfriend. And Felix’s serious about this, he really is, but there’s still a lot they haven’t talked about. They’re not boyfriends.</p><p>They’ll worry about that later, he thinks firmly to himself as he knocks on Changbin’s door before peeking inside.</p><p>Changbin’s sitting at his desk, pen scribbling away furiously inside an open book. His free hand’s running through his hair, a habit Felix recognizes as a sign of Changbin trying to read through something complicated. Felix coughs lightly to announce himself, and can’t help but smile as Changbin whirls around, startled.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Felix apologizes, slipping inside and shutting the door behind him. “Tough book?”</p><p>“The worst,” Changbin complains, ruffling his hair again. It’s practically standing upright now, and Felix can’t help but step closer so he can touch it himself, smoothing it back down even though he knows Changbin’s going to mess it up again anyway.</p><p>“What brings you here?” Changbin says, spinning in his chair to face Felix. He reaches out and pulls Felix in to stand between his spread legs, and Felix rests his hands on Changbin’s shoulders. For the umpteenth time he admires how pretty Changbin is, with his round lips and ash-colored hair and thick biceps. A perfect statue, crafted just for Felix.</p><p>“I have news about the campfire contest,” Felix says, ignoring the way Changbin’s face turns expressionless at the mention of it. He reaches out and covers the elder’s mouth with his hand so he can’t argue. Changbin presses a kiss to Felix’s palm, and Felix wrinkles his nose in faked distaste.</p><p>“The theme of this year is King of Masked Singer,” Felix explains, pulling his hand away from Changbin’s mouth. “Will you join if no one knows it’s you?”</p><p>“What?” Changbin asks, confused. Felix rolls his eyes and plops himself down onto Changbin’s lap, straddling his waist. If he’s going to have to stop and explain it all, he may as well get comfortable.</p><p>“All the contestants are going to wear masks, so the audience doesn’t know who they are,” Felix says, keeping his eyes fixed on Changbin’s. “Jisung told me that’s the theme they picked this year. And if you’re worried about people seeing you, or if you’re worried about seeing them, well. We can just give you a mask with no eyeholes,” he half-jokes, still looking at Changbin seriously.</p><p>Changbin looks conflicted at the information. Felix’s willing to bet he’d never seriously entertained the thought of joining the contest, but Felix’s put too much work into this idea for it to fail now.</p><p>“This way,” Felix continues, “you can sing, and the only thing people will focus on is your voice.”</p><p>“My voice isn’t that great. It’s nothing compared to yours,” Changbin says. “Your voice is so deep and unique, it’s so pretty.”</p><p>“I like your voice a lot,” Felix says honestly, because he does. He hasn’t really heard Changbin sing before, at least not outside of the soft humming he does in the kitchen and the sweet ballads he croons in the shower when he thinks Felix can’t hear, and one video of Changbin singing in one of Chan’s old projects. Changbin’s always rapped with gruff intensity, but his singing voice is more mellow and rounded. Like a prince, Felix thinks.</p><p>“You really want me to do this, huh?” Changbin asks, rubbing his thumbs across Felix’s hip bones.</p><p>“I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do,” Felix says, feeling like his own mother suddenly. “But I just thought that if you wanted to try, now seems like a good chance.”</p><p>He thinks for a moment, and then slides his arms around Changbin’s neck, smiling. “And even if you don’t join the contest, I hope you’ll still sing for me one day.” Changbin laughs at that, and then turns serious again.</p><p>“I do want to try,” Changbin says, quiet. “But I’m scared that I won’t be very good. Or I’ll freeze up. Or both.”</p><p>Felix thinks that Changbin’s good at everything, so to hear him sound so unsure of himself is disconcerting. Changbin’s such a star, innately talented in the way that very few people are, and Felix only wishes that Changbin would think that about himself too.</p><p>“Well, you know I’m a bit biased when it comes to you,” Felix admits, running a hand through Changbin’s hair. It’s soft and wild and Felix’s in love. “But if it helps, Chan’s been talking my ear off all week about how good you’d be, and you know he doesn’t lie. Not about music, at least.”</p><p>“I’ll decide tomorrow,” Changbin says, leaning forward to press a kiss to the end of Felix’s nose. “For now...” he trails off, and then before Felix knows it, Changbin’s standing up and walking away from his desk, hands under Felix’s thighs to hold him up. Felix shrieks and grips at Changbin’s shoulders for balance, scared he’s going to tumble backwards out of Changbin’s arms.</p><p>It’s Changbin that actually lets Felix fall back, hitting the soft surface of Changbin’s bed with an audible <em>oof</em>.</p><p>Felix opens his mouth to angrily protest – just because he’s smaller doesn’t mean Changbin can just manhandle him any time he wants – but before he can get a word out, Changbin’s above him, his broader form covering Felix’s easily, his eyes warm as he looks down at Felix.</p><p>And then Felix’s not so mad anymore. </p><p>-</p><p>In the end, Changbin ends up not saying anything about the contest, and Felix doesn’t try to push him on it. It’s not really his place to say anything anyway if Changbin doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to guilt trip him over it.</p><p>It’s also a busy time of the year anyway, right before they break for the summer, and exams take priority.</p><p>Felix spends the last couple weeks of the school year panicking over his finals, and he ends up spending more at Seungmin’s place or in Jisung’s dorm room than he does at his own house. He loves Chan, he really does, but if he has to spend any more nights lying awake while Chan’s senior thesis blasts through the thin walls of their apartment, he’s going to lose his mind. He’d stay with Changbin, but they have no classes in common, and living and studying with his fellow freshmen just ends up being easier for now.</p><p>Passing finals takes so much out of him that Felix doesn’t see Changbin for nearly two weeks, although there’s one time that Changbin sends flowers to his and Chan’s apartment and makes Felix nearly cry over how thoughtful he is, even though he must be stressed about his own exams too.</p><p>Freshman year ends up not sucking nearly as much as Felix had originally anticipated, thankfully. He manages to pass all his classes with decent grades, some more decent than others, and even gets top marks on his dance final, which he’s thrilled about. Hyunjin even takes them out for celebratory ice cream afterwards.</p><p>“How’s Changbin been doing?” Felix asks Hyunjin, handing him a napkin when he notices Hyunjin’s ice cream start to drip over his cone and onto his hand.</p><p>Hyunjin shoots him a confused look, before he grabs the napkin gratefully. “You don’t know? He hasn’t been at the apartment all week. I figured he was with you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Felix says, feeling a slight sting of disappointment somewhere in his chest. They’d been texting of course, but he’d assumed that Changbin was holed up at home, too busy cramming to come and see Felix. He doesn’t know how to feel now that he knows that Changbin’s apparently been out and about and hadn’t told him.</p><p>“He was probably just busy studying on campus or at the studios or something,” Hyunjin offers, probably able to read the blatant conflict written over Felix’s face. “I think that’s what he did last semester too.”</p><p>“Yeah, probably,” Felix agrees, though he’s unable to keep the glum tone out of his voice. Hyunjin fidgets a little, a guilty look on his face, and then abruptly tries to change the subject.</p><p>“Um, have you heard from Seungmin lately?” Hyunjin asks shyly, making Felix perk up. He makes a kissy face in Hyunjin’s direction, knowing they’re close enough at this point that he can get away with a bit of light teasing. Hyunjin flushes and punches Felix’s shoulder, and Felix marvels at the fact that even someone as objectively good-looking as Hyunjin can still act dumb when he has a crush. It makes Felix feel a little better about himself, honestly.</p><p>“Are you guys not dating yet?” Felix asks, genuinely curious at this point. Hyunjin shakes his head, looking a bit gloomy, but his smile returns a moment later.</p><p>“He did ask me to go with him to the campfire contest tonight, though,” Hyunjin says. Felix blinks blankly, and then quickly goes over the dates in his head. He’d forgotten about the contest tonight, even though he’s heard Chan and Minho and Jisung stress over it for ages now. None of them are even competing, Minho and Jisung are just in charge of the organizing and Chan’s providing the guitar accompaniment to the contests – he’d won last year.</p><p>Later that afternoon Felix ends up texting Changbin, asking if he’s going to come to the contest too. He doesn’t want to sound too needy; they’re still not officially dating, and he doesn’t want to sound too clingy, even though he and Changbin are probably equally co-dependent on each other at this point.</p><p><em>I’ll see you there! </em>Changbin texts back, and Felix lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He wouldn’t have held it against Changbin if he didn’t want to go, but it’s the end of Felix’s freshman year, and he doesn’t want to miss out on anything. Even Jisung’s coming, although he’s mostly forced too since he’s part of the contest committee.</p><p>He texts Changbin back with a heart emoji, uncaring of whether that’s too mushy for people who just like to kiss and cuddle a lot but aren’t actually dating. He feels good tonight; he passed all of his classes, he’s going to see all his friends later, and he doesn’t care anymore if Changbin knows that Felix is in love with him.</p><p>-</p><p>A bit of his good mood ends up melting away in the sweltering heat that surrounds the contest.</p><p>It turns out that the campfire contest is just a thinly-veiled excuse to make a bonfire on university grounds, and Felix is honestly surprised at how nice they’ve managed to make the typically sterile-looking concrete quad look.</p><p>There’s a roaring bonfire in the middle, surrounded by tables filled with marshmallows and sausages. There’s a little microphone set up on one side, a couple of stools and Chan’s amp next to it, and the whole setup is surrounded by, surprisingly enough, a couple dozen logs meant to be sat on like benches.</p><p>(“Minho made me help carry them in,” Jisung complains to him later, rubbing at his sore biceps. “He does Crossfit, but I only started working out a few months ago! I’m going to make him buy me coffee for a week to make up for it.”)</p><p>Felix finds his friends easily enough – it’s hard to miss Hyunjin’s bright blond ponytail and Jisung’s loud voice – but he can’t find Changbin, not even after he sends him another text. He’s probably just hanging out with his sophomore friends, Felix tells himself, trying to not feel hurt over being ignored. It’s the end of the school year anyway, they probably want to see each other before summer break starts.</p><p>He’s sweating already, so maybe it’s good that Changbin isn’t around to see him since Felix is pretty sure he doesn’t look cute like this, with his BB cream melting off and his hair both flattening out and poofing up in the humid head of the summer night. It’s too early in the season for it to be this hot, but Felix finds that he doesn’t really mind. Something about the waves of heat combined with the smoke from the fire remind him about being a kid back in Australia, having barbecues on the beach and feeling the sea breeze against his face.</p><p>“Hey, they’re starting,” Seungmin points out, just as a frazzled-looking Jisung rushes past them holding a clipboard and shouting something to Chan, who’s already taking his place next to the microphone with his guitar in hand. Felix finds a spot on one of the log benches, squished in between Seungmin and another freshman he’s met a couple times before, Lee Daehwi, and feels the excitement of a concert thrum in his veins as the contest begins.</p><p>The performances are really good, not that Felix had expected anything less from their prestigious performing arts department.</p><p>The theme is a big hit too, and some of the singers had gone all out with their masks. There’s one girl who’s decorated hers to look like a fox, with sparkling orange ears that give her an extra six inches, and other student who’s made his look like a painted-red demon, the black mesh that’s covering his eyes blending in a little too well. The smoke from the campfire curls around them, making them smell like wood and grilled meat, and Felix is glad that the singers have something covering their faces to protect them.</p><p>There are more contestants than Felix had thought there would be, although he’s not surprised that a group of music majors produced a lot of people who’d love to perform. At some point Seungmin even stands up, pulling a mask shaped like a dog out from his backpack and slipping it over his head, although not before sending them a shy smile.</p><p>He sings a popular Day6 song and manages to do so well that the entire freshman class gets on their feet to give him a standing ovation, which means that he’s sweaty and flushed when he returns to them, pulling his mask and grinning at them with an expression that looks like just he got off a rollercoaster and is still trying to figure out which way is up.</p><p>“You killed it!” Felix tells him happily, managing to pull him in for a hug before Hyunjin snatches him away, staring at Seungmin with a look that Felix can only describe as pure awe in his eyes. He stumbles over his words, probably trying to figure out how to best praise Seungmin, but before he can even say anything Seungmin shushes him, pointing at the makeshift stage where the next contestant has just taken his place.</p><p>He’s got a cute mask, Felix thinks, soft pink and with a round little pig nose in the middle of it, and large eyes that are covered by white cloth to hide the contestant’s identity. It’s got rabbit ears attached to top of it, weirdly enough.</p><p>Chan gives the singer a nod, a strangely expectant look on his face, and then strums the first chord.</p><p>The song’s not what Felix is expecting. It’s one he hasn’t heard before, although that’s not too unusual. Half the contestants had picked obscure, little-known songs to sing, although the particular mix of rapping and singing in this one makes him think that it’s self-composed. The thing is, it’s not the song that he has an issue with. It’s the singer.</p><p>As soon as Changbin sings the first few notes, Felix knows that it’s him.</p><p>The shock of hearing Changbin singing paralyzes him for a few moments, and he only snaps out of it when Jisung materializes next to him and nudges at his shoulder. His mouth’s open, Felix realizes dimly, and he shuts it so he can focus on Changbin’s song.</p><p>It’s sad, Felix realizes with a jolt, listening carefully to the lyrics. They’re about feeling pressured and lonely and left behind, and they make him uneasy, just the thought of Changbin feeling that way driving a stake into his heart slowly. It’s sad but powerful, and Changbin’s rapping backs it up, strong and rough and everything Felix loves about him.</p><p>His singing voice is something else though. It’s emotional, loud at some points and mellow at others, so unlike what Felix has heard from him before.</p><p>He’s proud of him, even though Felix hasn’t really earned the right to be proud of Changbin for doing something that Felix could never do himself, but he’s proud nonetheless. He watches Changbin sit up on that stool, singing his heart out to a crowd of people that Felix knows he’s afraid of performing in front of, and can only think about how much he loves Changbin for doing it.</p><p>Near the end of the song Chan joins in too, singing a couple lines while Changbin catches his breath, and Felix realizes that Chan must have been on this too. He’ll have to talk to him about that later, but for now he’s unable to do anything but listen to Changbin’s song, paralyzed in the face of Changbin pouring himself into this one performance.</p><p>It ends before Felix is ready for it to, and he’s pleased to see that more than just the sophomore class is applauding for him.</p><p>“Go to him,” Hyunjin urges him, gesturing to where Changbin’s disappearing off to the side now that the next contestant’s taken their place on the stage. Felix stands up and rushes off to him, pushing past a few senior girls and apologizing clumsily before he manages to catch up to Changbin, who’s surprisingly fast for someone with such short legs.</p><p>“Changbin hyung!” he calls, making Changbin stop in his tracks and turn around. He’s still got the silly pig-rabbit mask on, and Felix reaches up to gently pull it off his head exposing Changbin’s face to the warm light of the fire.</p><p>“Surprise?” Changbin asks him weakly. Felix thinks he looks happy, but mostly he looks nervous. Slightly nauseated, even.</p><p>“You did incredible,” Felix breathes out, before he throws his arms over Changbin’s shoulders and pulls him into a hug, feeling a need to express how proud he is physically and not just with words.</p><p>“Really?” Changbin asks him, a strange mixture of happiness and fear and relief in his voice. Felix lifts his head, looks Changbin in the eyes, and then leans in to kiss him. The entire music department probably thinks they’re dating, but whatever. Felix just can’t hold back any longer.</p><p>“I loved it,” Felix says, and he couldn’t lie even if he wanted to, not looking at Changbin’s painfully earnest face, the soft glow of the fire casting half of it in shadow.</p><p>“I’m glad,” Changbin says, smiling at him. It’s a big smile, a genuine one, and Felix is so happy just looking at it that he ends up staring for a little too long. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Changbin says, looking down at his feet guiltily, “but I thought that if a lot of people were expecting me to perform, I’d end up losing my resolve. I only told Chan because he’s the accompanist tonight, otherwise I really would have kept it a complete secret, I swear.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Felix assures him, reaching down to clasp Changbin’s warm hands in his and give them a tight squeeze. “You don’t have to explain it to me. I’m just really proud of you.”</p><p>“I just don’t want you to feel like I didn’t trust you,” Changbin explains, his handsome face scrunching up in concern. “Because I do, completely. I guess I was also just nervous for you to hear this song…I actually made it last year, so I’ve been working on it for a while.”</p><p>“It was really beautiful,” Felix says honestly, “and sad.”</p><p>Changbin smiles a little, half-sad and half-knowing, but he places a hand over Felix’s face and gently swipes his thumb over his cheekbone, rubbing off his makeup. Felix knows he’s probably just doing it to see Felix’s freckles, not that he’d be able to see much in the dim lighting anyway. Changbin’s always found Felix’s freckles beautiful, and he’s never been shy about telling him that, and gradually Felix has covered them up less and less, although he’d still put on some makeup for tonight.</p><p>‘’I’m not sad like that anymore,” Changbin confides in him. “You really helped me this year. I mean look, I would never have performed in front of people like this if it weren’t for you. I just didn’t want to let you down.”</p><p>“You definitely didn’t,” Felix agrees, and before he can say anything else Changbin moves his hand to the back of Felix’s head and pulls him closer, pressing their mouths together again. It’s chaste, sweet, lasting only a couple of seconds before they break away. It’s probably one of the most innocent kisses they’ve had, and yet it warms Felix from the top of his head down to his toes.</p><p>“Go out with me,” he blurts out, not even embarrassed at this point. He likes Seo Changbin so much that hurts, far more than the sting of embarrassment ever could.</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Changbin breathes, eyes bright. It might just be the light of the flames playing in them, but it might not.</p><p>There’s a lot they’re going to need to work out – summer break for one, where they’re going to spend it and how they’re going to see each other, but they don’t bother hashing out the details just yet. For now they return to their friends, and even though nothing’s really changed about them Seungmin gives him a knowing look, and Felix keeps himself from blushing by sheer willpower alone.</p><p>Changbin doesn’t win the competition, the trophy goes to a senior named Jihyo who’d had the strongest belt Felix’s ever heard, so he can’t really argue. It doesn’t matter though, their little friend group crowds around Changbin and congratulates him as if he had been the winner, and by the end of it Changbin looks so pink and happy that it makes Felix feel like he’s got a balloon in his chest, swelling up with so much joy that he thinks it might burst.</p><p>At some point Minho sneaks them a couple bottles of beer, which is technically not allowed but also not surprising, and they all get a little bit tipsy. Felix especially, and he finds himself huddled under Changbin’s heavy arm, their sides pressed together for warmth now that the bonfire’s dwindled down to embers.</p><p>“Your mask was kind of dumb though,” Jisung points out, picking up the discarded pig-rabbit mask off the ground and waving it around. Changbin makes a funny noise in protest, but then Jisung makes an even funnier noise, a horrible mix between an oink and a squeak, and it makes Changbin burst into laughter, loud and boisterous and lovely. Felix stares at him with hearts in his eyes, helpless to look away.</p><p><em>I love you</em>, Felix thinks to himself. He’s in no rush to say it; they’ve got time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>when you write a whole fic about a summer boy and realize that it's barely about summer....ㅠ</p><p>if you think it's kind of a mess, that's because it is! whoops</p></blockquote></div></div>
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